The problem is two-fold; Arabic and the crazy amount of English that my classmates and I speak to each other.  I have been better about being Arabic only since the new year, but English still creeps in.

Then we end up speaking an Arabic-English creole    which is worst than bad basic Arabic skills.   Unfortunately, my program does not have a lnaguage pledge like Middlebury College does.

And so I have to make one of my own:

I Gazelledusahara pledge to use Arabic language in all of my linguistic interactions. except when speaking with those who do not understand Arabic at all or in Emergency situations where speaking English would be more prudent.

xGazelledusahara

does this mean that my blog entries should be in Arabic from here on out?…. maybe I will write the Arabic and then do English translations?

على فكرة حل التوقيع على هذا العقد الالكتروني يعني أنني ساكتب على مدونتي بالغة العربية فقط؟  من الممكن أن اكتب بالغة العربية وبعد ذلك اترجم كلامي في اللغة الانجليزية

على أية الحال هنشوف النتيجة بقى

On the one hand I get it, it’s human nature to have stereotypes about the “other.” Television and news media certainly play a big role in this,  much of that media coming from the US itself.  For example the number of channels showing American films is absolutely daunting.  It’s been my experience that the Egyptians I’ve met know a lot more about American movies than I do… (on second thought, well, I guess that isn’t saying much).

As result, I understand when they make jokes or actually believe or ask me questions about violence in the US.  it’s not just about Egyptian perceptions either, Over the Christmas break my cousin in the UK asked me if life in the U.S. was accurately portrayed by the cop series “The Wire.”   People really do think that Americans walk around with concealed weapons.

It also does not come as surprise to me when people think that Americans are not nice people.  If all you see are criticisms of America’s foriegn policy then it can be easy to confuse America the political entity with the not-so average American who happens to come to your country to study your language.

Lastly, while it certainly rubs me the wrong way, I understand why people assume Americans to be super-liberal socially and to fully support things that more traditional societies do not such as pre-marital sex, gay marriage, women being allowed to wear whatever they want, a much wider definition of freedom of religion… etc.

HOWEVER

What Gazelled absolutely will not stand for is rude transmission of these assumptions.  And that is what I have trouble with here.   It’s not just in the streets with random people it’s in the classroom and in people’s living rooms.

In some ways it’s an absolute de ja vu, the same thing happened in Qatar.  The same people who wanted to beat me over the head with the mantra “don’t believe what your media says about us, we are terrorists, we don’t hate the American people, we are not violent ” etc.  Are the same ones who will in the same breath make sweeping, and quite frankly offensive and hurtful commments about America, American culture and the American mindset.

This of course is a little hard to deal with sometimes, but I have been a good girl for the past 4.5 months.  That was of course until yesterday.

We have a discussion club, just to practice speaking in a formal-ish but not classroom enviroment.  I attended this meeting and the topic, initially was the controversy surrounding selling organs, you know is it morally right?  can we put a price on a vital organ etc.

Somehow the subject moved to the topic of rape.  My instructor the man leading the discussion and someone who from what I gather probably considers himself an open-minded person  tried to explain the Egyptian woman’s perspective on the issue.  That was probably mistake number one.

Between his attempts at a non-demeaning representation of how the “Egyptian woman” feels about the topic and my point blank questioning, he admitted that rape is seriously under-reported here.  (Like many places including the US  unfortunately the blame seems to fall on the woman.  But this “she deserved it because she should have known better than to do/to wear/ or go to x, y or z” is compounded here because of the stress on maintaining a woman’s honor— that of course is another blog post).  For most (his words) or at least many (my words) Egyptian women they would rather be killed than raped.    The extremely problematic nature of this mindset aside, the main point was that because of the social ramifications of such an act being know to the wider community, women tend to not press charges.

********At this juncture I would like to point out that I listened to my instructors words and didn’t place a value judgement on it per se.  It’s not a surprising piece of information given the context, and it’s not a phenomenon specific to Egypt or even the Arab world.  My reaction greatly contrasts with that of some of my other classmates who are appalled by this mindset.****

My instructor then went on to make what he probably thought was nothing more  than a factual, benign statement that we all could not dispute.  he claimed that because of people adherence to their religion, rape was not a serious problem in Egypt and that the cases of rape in America are soooo Much more higher than what we have in Egypt.

What the instructor said next struck a nerve with me and although it wasn’t my intention, I let out a loud, quite angry rebuttal to his claim.  I asked him how could he make such a claim when we just established that rape is seriously under-reported in Egypt?  I probably said a few other things too…

at that point the sole Egyptian woman in the group spoke up and took the middle road between what the both of us were saying.

This particular incident struck a nerve with me because it happened in an academic environment.   I felt like the instructor was talking about the US as if it was some civil war zone with women getting pulled away left and right and attacked because of the lascivious natuer of American culture.

Aside from being an unfounded ridiculous statement, it also bothered me because it is indicative of the mind-set of many.  He is ignoring what is a serious problem, the issue of victims of sexual violence being able to seek justice. And instead states as if it was absolute fact, that as most Egyptians are Muslims, must mean that there are fewer rape cases here.  Once shown the fallacy of his argument, my instructor sort of grumbled his way into the sunset.

I don’t know if he’s actually right, there are no stats that can prove it.  But it seems to me judging from the rampancy of street harassment and the physical/sexual nature that it has taken on here (i.e. men/boys touching and rubbing against women inappropriately— I wonder how my instructor rationalizes these instances with Egypt being a religious country?—- this is certainly not Islamically appropriate behavior at all)  compounded with the fact that they know that a woman who has been raped will probably not say anything, plus the fact that women are most likely to be raped by someone they know (family, friend, neighbor)  I just can’t be as sure as my professor about things being rosy.

At the end of the day this incident is  just one instance out of many where people show of a lack of tact.  Right now, I am trying to find the balance between telling them off as I did with this instructor and grinning and bearing it as I and so many classmates have done and continue to do.

I’ve never considered it my duty to represent the US of A while abroad, but I know its sort of part of the job description.  But how do I deal with people saying things like: “I know you are American and don’t have any morals, but that’s ok”  or “you’re not like other Americans, you’re so nice” (how many other Americans has this person met before me?  zero)  in a diplomatic way? Especially when talking to people who I like for the most part?

I think I just need to tone it down, not be as visibly perturbed as I was with this instructor while still trying to get people to see the fallacy of they are saying.  hmmm easier said than done, that is for sure.

Alexandria is not as congested, but it’s still pretty bad.   One of my class mates was literally hit by a car before the holidays.  Alhamdullilah he is ok, some issues with his leg that will Inshallah be resolved before long but that’s it.  We always joked about how crossin the streets here is dangerous for your health, and it’s not a surprise that someone got hit.

Crosswalks are seldom obeyed.  You literally just have to get out there, say a prayer and hope for the best. I guess i have acclimated to this way of doing things, becuase when i tried to cross the streets while in London, I was really surprised that my cousing would wait until the street was completely clear.  if you do that in Egypt, you will never get where you need to go.   I’ll show you why:

Exibit A:

this street doesn't look so bad, right? Well, remember that you have to cross all those lanes without traffic lights or a pedestrian crossing... good luck!

Now let’s have a look at Exhibit B:

Don't know if this is clear from this photo, but there are no clearly defined lanes... i.e. people drive, swerve and zig zig as they please and many a times without signalling

The snack of champions? Hey it sure beats the heck out of Tomatoe or Kebab flavored potato chips

It’s 2012 and I am back in Egypt after ten wonderful days in the U.K.  I must admit I did not appreciate England when I spent a semester there.  But, after 3,5 months in Egypt I saw the light!

Clean streets, indoor heating, people obeying traffic signals, grocery stores with plantains, Jamaican beef patties, more than two kinds of rice and one kind of bean… you get the picture.  London IMHO pales in comparison to my hometown when it comes to its international offerings… but it was just what the doctor ordered for me.

Spending that time with Family had a rejuvenating effect… I don’t know if it has made me bolder and ready to finish out my year here, but the survival foods and products I brought back should help me alongt he way.  Plantains on New year’s day, short bread cookies for snacks and let’s not forget hoola hoops.  And perhaps most importantly I got my hair done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  twists with extensions.  Having it be long and flowy is confusing to the Egyptians but they are just gonna have to get used to it!

It was also nice to pass through Cairo.  I am so grateful to be in Alexandria and not there.  Cairo is just too much.

Then again, I was so quickly greeted with all the things that make living here hard.  I got swindled by the taxi from the airport, my bathroom sewage drain overflowed when I took a shower, my bathroom sink started spraying water everywhere… welcome back to Egypt!!!

At any rate, here’s looking forward to a great 2012.

My life is on hold, but the world keeps spinning.  This means that

1. I will be a year older when I am done here.  Others might disagree with me on this one, but I sometimes regret being here because it’s a year that I could have spent at least trying to be single and ready to mingle.  Instead, I am in a situation where Mr. 100% right for me is not at all likely to appear. It’s not something that I think about too much, but being in Egypt and in a program where all of my instructors are younger than me (not by much, 2-4 years) and the Director himself is only 2 or so years older than I, has made me ask myself: Gazelle what the heck are you doing with your life? For some who are working abroad, being outside the country does not matter as much… but for others who study abroad especially like me, these opportunities do come at a price of opportunity cost.  which mainly has to do with love (i.e. marriage) and money:

Career-wise I am also a year older.  Yet another year spent studying instead of working, yet another year where my peers are out conquering the world and their fears and I am, well, doing what I do best… traveling to random places.  It’s not that I want their jobs or careers but if you’d ask me 5 years ago I would not have imagined myself not quite settled career-wise.    I sometimes wonder if it would not have been better to have been working all of these years instead of working towards a goal that has changed so much and is still so malleable.  Most of the time, yes  alhamdullilah I am blessed to experience these things.  Yet, I don’t stop myself from questioning…was this the right choice?

How many Thanksgivings will I spend in some other country (however yummy those ex-pat potlucks may be)…. here’s a sampling of niceties we had this yea lol…

I guess it’s because there are so many things going on, but nothing is going on.  Case in point, I had dinner with someone I met a few months ago, but with whom there has not been any occasion to invite them to anything… lol.

Seriously, there isn’t tons to do here.  I usually stay home most nights.  My friends may visit… we might go study elsewhere… but whatev… I have a pattern and have been following it… eat, sleep, catch up television serials, study and that’s about it.

But I need to wake up from my sleep.  While talking to a friend about my experience with Egyptian youth (two very different groups mind you) and our plans for the future as soon to be graduates I realized something.  The stretch of time between December to about March of the following year, is pretty darn stressful, whether you are  high school student that’s not sure if you’ll end up attending the school of your dreams or your safety or you’re a pre-med senior stuck under  a pile of med school apps and MCAT tutorials or  a college sophomore that’s hoping for funding for summer research/study/ internship comes through or you’re a newly minted graduate student… like me.

We all just want to know!

I went through this before, so with my 20/20 hindsight it does all work out in the end.  However, not knowing, not being sure of how things will shape up is one the singly most annoying things to deal with right now.  What am I doing after Egypt?  I could be anywhere from giving Moroccan Arabic a try in Meknes to starting some new job somewhere to handling some temporary summer gig until I head to Spain in the fall.  I dunno… Are these the types of problems that stop the world from turning? clearly not.

I am not one meal away from starving.  I recognize the fact that I got developed world problems. As I reflect on this fact I should defnitely state on this blog that I am thankful.  extremely so.

Last week I got news that the Fellowship I have, which has allowed me this degree for free… is now cancelled! Alhamdulliah I applied and was accepted in the nick of time.   I fell for the students in the cohort after me as I am not sure about what this all means for them.  particularly I wonder about those who may have turned down the programs/schools of their dreams for this program (like I and others in my cohort did).  It’s just a tough situation to be in.  Not to mention all of the people who apparently not longer have jobs.

On that bitter-sweet note, I end my blog post.  More to come in a few Inshallah.

We even had a “Thanksgiving Day parade”  Not the one that Macy’s makes, the kind that comes when groups of frustrated Egyptians march down the street en route to the final destination… the military base/building some 30 minutes away.  We watched this from the rooftop of a classmates apartment while eating cakes and such some 7 floors above.

Sometimes it feels like I am in another world.  Life truly goes on as usual for me.  I don’t live near the centers of protest, Allhamdullilah!

I suppose I have to go the selfish route and mention my own personal struggle this week with feeling like the entire world continues to turn as I sit here for  year.  My life is on hold and other peoples’ are not.  Perhaps I am at that point in the journey where I really have to question why I am here.  Part of me wishes I had chosen a different path, one that would have me more fulfilled for now, the other part of me knows that this is all part and parcel of being abroad.   I’m sure this part of the post sounds a bit cryptic, but needless to say I’ve been hit with a string of whammies… information, good news for others, but surprising news for me.  I am just a bit taken aback by it all.  There hasn’t been enough time to process all that has transpired during my absense, and during my one-year hiatus while finishing the first year of this program.

It’s almost 3 months since I set foot in the “motherland.”  To be quite honest the experience has largely been good.

And this is the thought I tried to hone in on during the TG holiday.  I have so much to thankful for, time to focus on them and let the rest sort itself out.  Life is not a race, it’s a journey. ..

More external issues to think about, like a peaceful first day of elections tomorrow, Inshallah.

The protests can get rough, but I don’t take part, I avoid them like the plague. services are still functioning (the tram, taxis, shops etc), although I actually put certain things back on the shelf  (like toilet paper— who knows if we will be here long enough for it be my turn to buy some again—- sad but not too far fetched given the circumstances) while I added certain other things (a few more bottles of my favorite yogurt drink, gummies… you know the things you need when you are stressed out in the short term).  I also plan on getting some laundry done… just in case.  But really, I am fine.

At the end of the day if things get worse my country the great USA will get me out.  But what about those I leave behind?

As stated previously, the situation now, as far as I am concerned was inevitable. I came here knowing that it was highly possible for something like this to go down.  And now, it has.  I pray for the safety of all I know and peace in this land.

The next few weeks will be a turning point in Egyptian history.  Like it or not, I guess I am seeing history up close.  sigh

I am still trying to make sense of the nature of Christian-Muslim relations, but today I wan to talk about a phenomenon among the Copts.  Relations between the two groups are not always the best (but that is another blog post).  I personally don’t want to offend anyone so I make it a point of duty to try and learn how to navigate the Muslim and Christian world here.  And in Egypt that means even little things like greetings.

It’s no surprise that although I have studied Arabic for too many years to count, I don’t have much knowledge about Arab Christians.  Most of my teachers were either from 99.9% Muslim countries or clearly never interacted with Christian,  so I have zero Arab-Christian experience.  I am trying to make up for that by attending Arabic-language church services (and that also is a whole other blog entry)  let me tell you, it is plenty different).

At any rate, a key part of navigating the Muslim-Christian world is knowing how to tell which religion a person is.  This is certainly not something that I am used to doing so it was a little hard at first. Someone’s religion is just not the most important aspect of a person’s identity for me, at least not when you first meet them.But it certainly is here.. like much of the Arab world it’s question number 2 or 3 right after “what is your name?”

Needless to say, it’s my experience that Christians have taken offense to my greeting them “in  Muslim way” i.e. saying assalamu alaikum.  So I want to avoid such moments of awkwardness from now on.

Back to the main point this post. As about 95% of the women here wear scarves, figuring out their religion is not hard.  However, there are some Muslim women who do not cover their hair and so, I can not just assume that a person is not Muslim based on this alone.

Copts, the majority of Christians here are making this weeding out/classification process a lot easier because so many of them have Tatoos!!!!!!!!!!!

yup that’s right a lot of them get a cross tattoed to their wrist!  I asked one of my classmates about this and apparently they get them when they are pretty young, although she got hers when she was much older.  I googled the topic as I didn’t realize it was something that people had done in infancy and I found this article with video that was pretty interesting.

A tattoo is certainly the ultimate demonstration of fealty to your confession, but I don’t know what I think about little kids undergoing this procedure.  Tatoos hurt, like a lot.  Then again, so does circumcision.

For now, I guess thic Coptic-tattoo thing will just be fascinating to me!   Unfortunately it’s not the sort of thing that has ever come up in a single Arabic class.   I am even toying with the idea of getting one. But who am I kidding, I am a total wuss… it looks painful.

In general I can walk by myself outside without much hassle.  Of course there is street harassment, but it doesn’t go beyond yelling out  cat-calls such as “ya Samara!”  or ” ya mooza” (literally means hey bannana, but in Egyptian slang a mooza is a hot chick) or some variation thereof.

However, two days ago I was met with a slightly different kind of street harassment: Young boys and pranks they play on foreigners.  I love the modern-style supermarket near my home.  It’s just a 5 minute walk and it has most of the products I need in one place and for a fair price.  However,  there is a group of young boys, my guess is age range 8-14 or so who like to hang out near the market.  They have never bothered me before besides the one time they tried to scare me and my Chinese-American room mate after we ascended the store escalators and left the store. Well, two days ago as I waited for my room mate at the upstairs entrance a pair of those little rascals threw a piece of plastic broken off from God knows where at the back of my head!  I did not provoke them in any way, as a matter of fact I was oblivious to their presence.

Needless to day I was mad!  Say whatever you want, but do not touch me! Physical harm, or the potential for it, is where I draw the line.  I came out of the store angry and yelling in Arabic, causing my main attacker to run.  The other older boys who saw what had happened and done nothing to stop it tried to smooth things over.  They apologized on behalf of their comrades, but I was not satisfied with that.  The thing is, it was important that they know that throwing things is dangerous.  If they had thrown a rock at my head (which has in fact happened to people in my program) it could have seriously hurt me… Then I would have been really mad, and they could have gotten in a lot of trouble.

This message on the dangers of throwing things was amusing to assailant number two, when I asked him what he was laughing about he said, it was the fact that I speak Arabic!  Not that it was stuttered as I do when I am angry, but the fact that I speak Arabic at all. I then told him that I also spoke English and could convey my message that way if he would like.

In the end, I angrily threw the plastic thing, not intending to hit him, nor did I hit him.  I just wanted them to know that I am not one to play around.

Surprisingly it worked.  I went to the shop this evening, and saw two boys walking.  The first descended the escalators with a swiftness that startled his companion, causing him to fall.  I was simply trying to tell the little boy that fell that his friend was downstairs in the store, when the three older boys from the day before came in and started saying sorry again.  The boy that fell kept saying that he was not the boy that hit me the day before and that his friend was the one who had done it!

To be honest it was dark and I was so mad that I didn’t really remember what those kids looked like.  But I am happy that it had an impact on them.  The kid who ran down the stairs still had that stupid grin, but the others really needed my reassurance that I was no longer angry.

This experience has made me realize that sometimes the best way to handle harassment in the streets is not to just silently pretend like it doesn’t matter or that I don’t hear it.  Rather, harassers need to know that that behavior is unacceptable.  Don’t get me wrong, this will certainly not work in every situation. But at least I am more confident in the possibility of telling some older man off if he touches me.

My Arabic under pressure wasn’t too bad, the kids could clearly understand me, even if they were taken aback by my ability to speak the language and or my accent. That is also a relief. To be honest the street harassment angle is actually so 3-d that I don’t know that one post is enough to encapsulate it all.  There will be more on this later,  but suffice it say,

I see how children, young boys in particular start to learn these bad habits so early.  Stories like mine happen all the time in Alexandria, many a times in front of adults, and no one chastises the kids!

At any rate, I am happy to have taken my power back!  Street harassment?  I say NO!!!!!!!!!!!