My life right now, is like this post, random. I have more or less put my life on hold to come here, and I knew that. But somehow, the ramifications of this choice, which is supposedly somehow is going to ease me into my other life plans, is just hitting me now. Maybe it’s just the effects of the random conversations I have had the past week: Egyptian high school students applying to elite American schools, my cute little pupil’s at a pre-school where I now intern, friends in the program and new acquaintances.
My life is on hold, but the world keeps spinning. This means that
1. I will be a year older when I am done here. Others might disagree with me on this one, but I sometimes regret being here because it’s a year that I could have spent at least trying to be single and ready to mingle. Instead, I am in a situation where Mr. 100% right for me is not at all likely to appear. It’s not something that I think about too much, but being in Egypt and in a program where all of my instructors are younger than me (not by much, 2-4 years) and the Director himself is only 2 or so years older than I, has made me ask myself: Gazelle what the heck are you doing with your life? For some who are working abroad, being outside the country does not matter as much… but for others who study abroad especially like me, these opportunities do come at a price of opportunity cost. which mainly has to do with love (i.e. marriage) and money:
Career-wise I am also a year older. Yet another year spent studying instead of working, yet another year where my peers are out conquering the world and their fears and I am, well, doing what I do best… traveling to random places. It’s not that I want their jobs or careers but if you’d ask me 5 years ago I would not have imagined myself not quite settled career-wise. I sometimes wonder if it would not have been better to have been working all of these years instead of working towards a goal that has changed so much and is still so malleable. Most of the time, yes alhamdullilah I am blessed to experience these things. Yet, I don’t stop myself from questioning…was this the right choice?
How many Thanksgivings will I spend in some other country (however yummy those ex-pat potlucks may be)…. here’s a sampling of niceties we had this yea lol…