276 Questions to ask before Getting Engaged…

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I stumbled upon this beauty of website a few days ago and it has been an eye-opener of sorts…

I’ve said it before and I will say it again… marriage is on a lot of peoples minds here.  I was thinking the other day about the divorce rate here (I’ve heard it’s around 50%)  which would make it clear that whether you  date/have sex/live together before your married or have everything arranged by family and friends and only meet each other a few times before hand, you need to pick your spouse for the right reasons.

Getting married for the sake of getting married, or basing your marriage choice upon assumptions about what the other person will do, or being pressured by family to marry a certain person are a reality everywhere.  Inshallah when I get married, I won’t have to go through divorce and such… but there has to be a plan just in case.

It’s at this juncture that the website with 276 questions comes in:

http://www.connact.com/~hom/blog/276questions.htm

Some of the questions are your run of the mill ones, but some of the others are real eye openers for me… I’ve had to stop and think “what do I want?”  It’s funny comparing notes with Egyptian women here about what they want in a mate.  None of the people I know gave vapid answers, everyone’s were pseudo vague… the way mine were, before I started answering these questions. Some of them, i have yet to develop an answer for, still thinking still trying to figure out what it is I want/think about issue x, y, or z.  But, it’s good to have a list of questions and things to look out for…

Come to think of it, this space is looking more like a relationship/dating site, and less like a travel blog….lol… we’ll change that soon, Inshallah.

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3 thoughts on “276 Questions to ask before Getting Engaged…

  1. KG

    So are you actually discussing the specific questions on this list with the Egyptian students? Comparing their answers to those of American students might actually be an interesting sociological study. (Although to do it right, you’d need a larger sample size, carefully worded multiple-choice questions, etc.)

    It’s an interesting list of questions. It’s a long list of questions to go through, which I think makes it a bit intimidating. Presumably, though, if you’re interested in marrying someone, you’re either going to be dating long enough that you can take these questions a few at a time (or the subjects will come up naturally), or you’re serious enough about the relationship to go through these methodically.

    There might be a more efficient way to cover the topics but I think this list covers most of the major sources of relationship issues. In fact, from what I can see based on some of the advice columns I read, many of the people writing in with marriage issues have conflicts precisely because they didn’t take the time to discuss the topics addressed by these questions before they got married.

    What’s interesting is that dating sites like okcupid actually give their users an opportunity to answer questions like these (I believe as multiple choice questions) and make their answers public, so that users can get an idea of how compatible they might be, even before they meet. I’m not sure, but I think it seems like eHarmony might also base some of their match criteria on questions like these.

    Another point that comes up in advice columns is that opinions on some of these subjects (i.e. the number of kids someone wants/whether someone even wants kids) can change over time. Therefore, it’s advisable to keep checking in with your significant other/spouse about these subjects even after you get married, in order to make sure you’re on the same page.

    (Btw, it’s not actually 276 questions. The author repeats a couple of questions in the parenthood section.)

    • gazelledusahara

      yeah you’re right, if you’re involved with anyone romantically these types of questions will come up, but not all of them… I just think it was eye-opening for me because there’s a lot we take for granted… or never thought about… the question about children and private schools for instance, I really had to think about that and how felt about it… it just gives more perspective on what to look for in a marriage partner…

      I haven’t shared the whole list with Egyptians, although some have aksed, because of the sex questions… they can look that up on their own… lol. besides a lot of the questions are really catered to an American or perhaps Western cultural background, I think…ha, ha… I mad she duplicated questions to get 276…lol

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