On Relationships that Die A Natural Death Part II


fyi: So you kind of have to read the previous post to get situated into this post:

But I will just continue now, I was talking to the boy today about this issue, probably perhaps was not as articulate as I could have been, I am still trying to figure out how I feel about all this, you know…

Something he did hit me, and I have been thinking about for the 3 some hours since…. He changed the subject! It felt like he didn’t even try to help me process what was going on here (and by try I mean listen for 5-7 minutes),  I mean I wasn’t bitching about my teacher, I was trying to make a statement about issues going on in the larger society… trying to process what I’m going through, trying to process the line between respecting cultural differences and calling things that are crappy as they are…

and he just changed the subject… I didn’t feel hurt though.  I was just surprised as how he did it blatantly, not even trying to be smooth about it. As the conversation continued and even when it ended, I thought about it.  I think I knew it that second, that moment that it happened, the boy is NOT Mr. Right.  He’s not even Mr. Good Enough…. it’s just that simple, almost two months of communication up in smoke, like it died a quick, painless, natural, death….

He’s not a bad person, it’s just that this part of compatibility is non-negotiable…


Love Mr. Hardy's perfume too, ha, ha.

I always have to refer back to my list and while listening to my lame attempts at being philosophical is not on there his reaction in this situation tangentially violates about 2 or 3 of my stipulations… I think a relationship is about listening to someone, even if you can’t relate to what their going through, but giving them that space to reflect is important… I don’t think I can do this with the boy… so that’s it… ha, ha.

So yeah, got all excited for nothing, but I wanted to put this up here for those of you my friends who were “worried” about this situation, Gazelle never lost her heart, and she certainly never lost her head either,  I just wanted and needed to make sure that this isn’t what I needed.  It was clear that I would have had to sacrifice quite a bit to make this work, but I was willing to that in principle, if my basic relationship principles were addressed/satisfied… And now, I am almost certain that it is not worth the sacrifice, ha ha. The good part is that I can now probably focus a bit more on Arabic… ha, ha…

In the end I have found a friend, he is interesting,  but probably not for me.  Oh well, at least I tried.

We live to learn I guess.


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