Morocco: The Remix

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I am still coming to terms with the old and the new…

I am in an old place, and yet a new one, the tastes and smells whether they be good ones (sumptuous dishes) or bad ones (men peeing in corners of the street) are all coming back to me.

But some things are hazy, I was such a different person the first time I came to Morocco, and the second time and the third…

and yet the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.  What happened?  Am I just remembering things that never existed in the first place?

When I think about, I find myself looking at 2004 me and 2005 and even 2006 me as gradually less optimistic, leading to the Realist I am today… ha, ha…

never a complete Pollyanna, there was a hope, a glimmer in my eye back then that I have never since reclaimed… I don’t know if it’s wisdom, or just being jaded or some sort of coping mechanism for the nonsense I went through….

I think in some strange way, I wanted to find myself… or some great truth, universal wisdom about the innate good to be found in every human being, karma is  real thing, the good guy always wins etc.  … I also wanted to discover the cultural ties between the Arab world and Africa (or was it Spain?…ha, ha….I think it was Africa first, then it became this weird three-way triangle, then I just drifted into the contemporary world with modern-day issues and now… well let’s just leave it at that… ) the secret behind Moroccan cuisine… of course, there was Arabic.

Too many years later… I guess I can check Arabic off the list… but that’s about it.

Life is funny that way, I guess. hmmm maybe this post has turned into one of those laments of an almost thirty-something, who doesn’t have it figured out, and doesn’t have it all together.

maybe it is weird, because I am finding myself, but I don’t where I am finding myself just yet…

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