I like to think of myself as Asexual, meaning that I never simply look at an attractive man and feel attracted to him. I think physical attraction has little to nothing to with my romantic sentiments… I’m the girl that gets annoyed when you try to “holla” “get to know me for the purpose of marriage” or use any other euphemism you want. The thought of someone having the cajones to do such a thing without knowing anything more about me besides what I look like, grosses me out.
And this post isn’t an exception to this, it’s just me ruminating about different men that I encountered today. I’m still hanging out with awesome Africans from the church, today I started the process of getting my hair done, hopefully we will finish tomorrow. So far it looks great, even my host mom said so… ha, ha… I’m just happy that we understood each other, myself, the woman who sells the hair, the woman who’s doing my hair and the Hatian guy who translated for us all.
Even though I consider myself to be largely asexual, that doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge when a man looks good. And that brings me to man number 1. He does the sound system in the church and unlike some of the other guys whom I’ve seen sneaking peaks at young ladies during the service, this guy seems to be on the straight and narrow. Solidly focused on his job during the service. I don’t recall ever being introduced to him until today. It struck me last week that he has excellent bone structure, I mean I’m no talent scout for elite models or anything, but his face just has this manly chiseled and yet wonderfully symmetricness to it that reminds of male models. And perhaps it’s because he work on the sound board often has him turning his head in different directions, but I really do think he has something modelesque about him from all angles. But, (and there is always a but isn’t there) he’s short. When he introduced himself to me today, I realized that he is taller than I thought he was, but he’s about my height 5’5’’ or thereabouts. There go his modeling dreams… Ha,ha,… I distinctly remember thinking that when I saw him… as if he cares. At any rate this guy speaks Spanish (we were elated to find that we had a common language) and I’m happy to report that his personality seems to be a very nice one. Wish him all the best. I’m writing about this guy because to my surprise he’s Haitian, I don’t know why I didn’t think he was, maybe because the other Hatian guys had something about them that made it seem logical that they were, something about the way they dressed, the way they spoke English or their hair (one guy chemically straightens his, not something you see too many African guys doing). But in my mind I compare him to his comrade that a week ago was very blatantly trying to find out if I could be a potential marital interest. Like I said above, that grosses me out (along with the great age difference). The first guy had boastfulness about him, this one at least seems humble, genuine. What am I getting at? Do I want to jump his bones? Ha, ha… not at all.
But it just highlighted to me how a guy who has no romantic interest in me at all (which could very well be the case in this situation, I’m not smelling myself ladies and gentleman) or at least feigns lack of interest for the time being, is just so much more attractive than people who are super, duper direct.
That is even more solidified by guy number 2, a friend of the lady who did my hair. He stopped by to say hello and met a gem of an opportunity. On the one hand, I should feel good/impressed. I got told I was beautiful today… ha, ha… in fact so beautiful that it was a wonder why I was not already married. Add to that the extra pearl of wisdom that he gave (apparently, now that I am done with my education, the next natural step in life for me would be to get married…ha, ha,… somehow I don’t think that is in my program’s handbook). On the other, grosses me out! He even got my number from someone and called me… for what? I’m not really sure… his English is limited and my French is non-existent… what is he basing this attraction on? It’s not the 15 minute 6 way conversation we had? Heck, his accolades aside, how good can you look while people are putting extensions in?…
The third guy I want to talk about is a Moroccan… yes, that’s right, probably the first and last Moroccan man that I will find attractive in that way… (I don’t mean in terms of admiring his attractiveness only)… As is true being black in the brown world fashion, I was waiting for the bus with the girl who did my hair, when a bus pulls up. Two Moroccan teenagers are sticking their heads out of the bus and making fun of us… saying stupid stuff… why? Because we’re black and of course that means we deserved to publicly ridiculed (rolling my eyes and thanking God that I only have two more weeks of this mess). In true Gazelle fashion, I don’t take it lying down. I yelled at them in Arabic, “What’s so funny?” and we exchanged some more things back and forth. They apparently were taken aback by the fact that I speak Arabic (again rolling my eyes)…
And then, it happened… He appeared. He jumped out of the backdrop that is every other person I see in the street, hundreds of nameless and faceless faces in my memory, that leave no real mark. This yelled at the kids to shut up! For a moment there I didn’t believe it. But wait, it gets better… he then puts down his briefcase/laptop bag in a big huff, and walked up to that bus and got the kids to shut up! Ha, ha… things like that happen like … never. Unfortunately it’s been my experience that most men just sit around or stand around and say absolutely nothing. When the bus pulled away, I said thank you to that guy. I thought to myself wow, that’s a Moroccan guy I’d give my number to… ha, ha… but this was neither the place nor the time. Besides, he probably didn’t want it. I, more so than for romantic reasons, am curious about someone who stands up for what is right when he doesn’t have to. No one cares about two black women getting harassed at a bus stop … but someone did! He was thin-ish, but not as thin as some of the men here can be, more muscular than a lot of them and had on slacks a t-shirt that let his muscles show and sun glasses. See this is what I’m talking about the asexual in me coming out, I don’t know what he looked like, his face that is. His teeth could have been green, and he could have had a lazy eye, but that guy, is hot!!!!
To my pleasant surprise, I realized that he had actually boarded our bus. But to my chagrin I only realized this after he got up to leave. I watched him strut his shoulders on out of that bus, and saunter into the corner of some neighborhood I’ll never remember and thought, God bless you man. I many never have the chance to tell him this, but, He’s sexy, and I know it.