On What a difference 16 inches of Hair and 6 years makes…


What a difference some fake hair makes! ha, ha… my hair is in Senegalese twists now, which are really long (longer than I had anticipated) I mean all the way down to the end of my back long.

Since I got them in, I’ve noticed longer stares and more talk from people of the opposite sex… (give me a break).

But this post is not about random Moroccan dudes.

It’s about how being the new person in an older, established group of friends and colleagues can catch you off guard and relegate you to the nether regions of said circle.  If you happen to meet the guy that’s into you because you’re something new… you’ve hit a wall….

It’s a bit of deja vu… the same thing happened when I was in Morocco for a semester and met a bunch of sub-Saharan African students.  It was wonderful to meet them, but it was awkward with some of the guys.

Thankfully the numbers are fewer (age and location have much to do with that this time around but the situation is nonetheless a funny one to be in.  I’m not here looking for a man, I don’t think I act like I am, I’m not flirty at all… so how people read me as “open” for that mess, that is beyond my guess.
Case in point, yet another Romeo that I met when getting this fantabulous ‘do… apparently “can’t stop thinking about me”… ha, ha… if I thought these sentiments were at all real or credible  I wouldn’t laugh, but I’ve been down this road before.  Only this time instead of being confused and taken aback by such language, I rolled my eyes and told him to just stop.  It’s not that hard to do, (just ask my rather short list of ex and unrequited loves… ha, ha…)

I don’t want to give the idea that I am fighting them off left and right here, because I’m not and it’s not thaaat serious.  But, I do think about this situation, because of it’s parallels to my other time in Morocco.  Back then I still tried to navigate friendships and ignore that googly-eyed talk that then and now, is pretty much just their idea of what they think a girl/woman wants to hear.  Perhaps I’m just cynical, but I like to think of myself as a person who as they say in Moroccan ARabic

كيدق وكيقول “شكون”

(someone who knocks and says, who is it, i.e. someone who knows themselves very well)

I’m not that memorable, not after a few random conversations… once again just ask my (rather short) list of past and unrequited loves…. or any of my bffs whom I haven’t seen or heard from in ages…. I am very easy to forget.

Is it just me, that thinks that someone that says that you are all they think about or some craziness like that is well, crazy and creepy? …. ha. ha…

So yes, I guess I’m just lamenting how guys like these, whether you meet them at home or abroad, get in the way of my making real friends with pretty much everyone else. Some of the other girls/women won’t like you because they think you are just there to steal their men. Some of the guys that aren’t interested in you in that way but would be really cool to talk to won’t talk to you, because in their minds you have been relegated as so-so’s new interest. And they don’t want to be starting something… And perhaps more importantly (if that’s your aim), people like this become cock-blockers (excuse my language…ha, ha…) because if you are actually interested in someone, you will none-theless have been relegated to the untouchables section because of your “connection” to random starry-eyed guy. Sigh.

This time around, I almost didn’t catch this one, before it was too late, he was the kind that’s nice and then slowly eases in that talk that I don’t want to hear… ha, ha… smh…He was the undercover bugaboo… Regardless of when I caught on, my spidey senses were tingling early enough to let me know that this was a no-go.  What a difference these years have made, the older, wiser me, is pretty good at sniffing these “types” out.

The older me, also nearly sprained her foot today, thereby having to back-out of our planned group outing…yeah, God’s got my back too, ha, ha…

at any rate, with one week left and counting… by this time next week I will be completely packed up and ready to blow this infernal pop stand…


2 thoughts on “On What a difference 16 inches of Hair and 6 years makes…

  1. Interesting…I’ve never thought of googly-eyed guys messing up my friendships with people. I pretty much run in the opposite direction of such men at all times, and they’re quite surprised when I’m “not like other girls.” Oh to the well.

    Makes me wonder when someone is actually sincere, and what that looks and feels like.

    Although I also sense some self-deprecation in this post that is a little unsettling. 😦

    • gazelledusahara

      Unsettling? why? … ha, ha.. no need for sad faces, it’s the a little past quarter life crisis, Ramadaan in Morocco blues working it’s way through me… ha, ha… seriously self deprecation is order trust me…

      You’ve definitely seen sincerity before… Sincerity is thoughtful and watchful, sincerity doesn’t just pounce on you with tired game. Sincerity takes note of what you like and dislike and puts that into action… ha, ha…as I write this, I realize that it’s been so long since I’ve seen/felt sincerity… I was starting to forget.

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