I’m single. Are you single? Oh yes, And I like to mingle

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The title comes from a little jingle a friend of mine liked to say all the time. Celebrating the single life?
Ah yes, I interrupt my scheduled programming about travels to bring yet another installment of gazelle relationship angst… bear with me, now…. I will relate it to travel in the end… you can bet on it… ha, ha.

So, contrary to my last post,  Romeo is not boring.  He’s pretty funny and super gentlemanly (as far as I can tell, so far).  Combine that with his being cute (fyi V, incidentally he’s half Puerto-Rican!… ha, ha… I immediately thought of you and what your facial expression would be if you were there when he mentioned his heritage… ha, ha) and doing a smashing good job of boosting my self esteem… and it’s a go.

But wait!  It’s actually a no!  Romeo is completely unlike anyone I’ve ever dated/talked to and that, Houston, is a problem.

Yes, He has a compelling biography, long-range career/education plans… but…. and (Lord help me, there is always a but) he doesn’t fit my mold.  My somewhat arbitrary, but all-important mold.

I had this almost subconscious thing where I wouldn’t talk to/date someone if I couldn’t imagine see myself marrying them, in the abstract of course (No, I’m not crazy immediately hearing wedding bells and planning the names of our children or something like that).  It was more of a “don’t wanna waste my time” tactic.  After all, if I just knew from the get-go that it couldn’t/wouldn’t work out (I mean not even if I closed my eyes and imagined just so) then there was no point. Well, apparently that didn’t work so well!.. ha, ha..

And so, for the first time in my life it doesn’t matter.  He’s all wrong, we may not be around for too long, but it doesn’t even matter.  Our conversations aren’t necessarily made of the philosophical musings of Mr. Wrongs past, but I’m not bored. I’m not laughing, but I’m amused.  Probably smiling more than I normally do… and smirking to myself… what am I doing here?

Yes, I’m 28.  Yes, I should be at least somewhat preoccupied with the ticking clocks and quickly dissipating sand in my hourglass and such… but you know what?  It doesn’t even matter.

Is it love? ha, ha… certainly not.

It’s just that “I’m single and ready to mingle”… So yes, I tell myself,  Mingle on Gazelle! Mingle on!

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, how does this relate to international travel?  I think this mindset might be a good one to have if/when I go abroad.  I’ve never wanted to the be thaaat girl, the one with the native boyfriend so she could gain language skills, or because she felt like she could score a better deal in the foreign market than she could back home… (not knocking those who live by these methods, they have their merits).

But, Romeo is teaching me to appreciate a very different aspect of personality… a very different type of interaction from what I’ve had previously.

For the first time ever, I think I could be entertained by “Roberto” talking about his hair regime, or “Rafael” talking about some other, equally mundane thing.Balance is everything.  Things don’t have to be intense all the time.  I don’t necessarily need his shoulder to bemoan the benign indifference of the universe.

Sometimes, it’s ok to sit, and enjoy it when he calls you pretty.  To smirk when he cracks a corny joke, and to drift aimlessly into your own thoughts about how cute he looks at this angle as he goes on and on about something….

Thank you my dear, sweet Romeo 😉

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6 thoughts on “I’m single. Are you single? Oh yes, And I like to mingle

  1. KG

    Yay! I’m so happy for you!! It’s good to just enjoy dating. Don’t get too bogged down by your preconceived notions of what the perfect man/relationship is, though! No overanalyzing! 🙂

    • gazelledusahara

      ha, ha I wonder if you would say the same if you had all the details…ha, ha… I can see at least some of my Wellesley sisters rolling their eyes…ha, ha…. yeah, I’m finding ways to enjoy myself for the moment. I’m not analyzing anything.

  2. What is marriage material?

    I ask just because I ask myself this, and I don’t know for myself anymore, haha. I think I used to have a list of qualities, but now I have much fewer because I’m discovering in someone I wouldn’t have considered marriage material before a lot of essential qualities that I didn’t even know to look for before, just because I had never related to a man in any substantive way.

    Not, of course, saying anything about you settling or settling down with the first guy that comes along. Just suggesting that the one that comes along may or may not come pre-packaged in a way that will make him immediately recognizable as just that, marriage material.

    …and then there are just situations where someone is not marriage material. Like the “I don’t believe in marriage” type. Hehe, implicitly not marriage material. 😛

    Something I’m working through myself…interesting that you would bring it up, hehe…

    • gazelledusahara

      hmmmm… yeah, you have a point. Marriage material has never been something tangible, and it get’s less so as I get older. Almost ashamed to admit it, but I think in college, especially marriage material was someone who went to an elite enough college, tall-ish and majored in something sensible…ha, ha.. that was the starting point.

      Too bad based on this rubric, pretty much any man in the Boston area is marriage-material…ha, ha.

      Seriously, I mainly think about two things: Would I be proud to say that his person is the father of my children? and Would my family readily accept this person if I brought them home? I give my family, particularly my mom a lot of credit, they’d probably accept anyone with enough prodding. But marriage material for me has always meant someone that wouldn’t upset the harmony of home. Not surprisingly, very few fit that mold.

      So here’s to raising a few eye brows… ha, ha.

      • Oh yeah, the harmony in home thing has never been part of the rubric for me…it’s been more like, who will least upset harmony at home. I’m not sure what the path of least resistance will be…so I don’t factor it in anymore. I want my family’s blessing but if I count on them, I’m never going to get married.

  3. gazelledusahara

    Yes, your family dynamic is perhaps more… Fragile than mine… But my mom’s opinion weighs more on my mind than anyone else’s stance (perhaps she’s the most sensible of the bunch, ha, ha).

    I wonder if I will ever get married and if I don’t will it be because I couldn’t get my own blessing… ha, ha..!

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