On the Obstacles to Finding a Man in the Arabian Desert


So I am still sorting out this ex-pat living.  A common theme I will write about and have written about is marriage/dating/relationships etc.

“Can I just meet a rich ex-pat, who looks like Ashton Kutcher has an engineering background and will love me for me although his body is super cut and rock hard. Is that too much? I tried just wanting the simple stuff (smelling nice, educated-ish). But that didn’t work.  Now I am reaching for the moon!”
– Gazelledusahara via G-chat

The topic is something I care about, perhaps less than should, but more than I make it seem to others.  But my attitude for the most part has been that what is meant to be will be.  Thinking about the ramifications of this move on my love-life or lack thereof is a lot different than dealing with the realities of it.

This place is super segregated.  I am trying to find ways to get to know people from a variety of backgrounds, but birds of a socio-economic feather, stick together, so I don’t know.  When I go these types of events, I along with the people I am with laugh off the surprised stares.  It’s like hey, what are all these ethnic groups doing here together?

And then there is a question  I get a lot: would I marry an Arab?  Hmmmm… I mean I guess… ha ha… I don’t have a no Arabs need apply policy.  But something tells me that I need someone with stronger roots in the US, or some Western country. But I was met with the possibility of doing just that (well not marrying one of course! ha ha… I don’t move that fast 🙂 and I am kind of really on the hesitant side. I need to figure out what’s best for more me.

The thing is, I tend to be more conservative than the average “Western” expat.  So therein lies the stitch.  Right now I am vacillating between Arabs who tend to be more socially conservative, Arabs who are in the exact opposite, and Western Ex-pats who are, well Western ex-pats.

One potential Western suitor (oh goodness, it’s too early for these kinds of labels, but he has decided that this is kind of what he is. I have decided that this is what he will never be… but Allahu 3lim) claims it’s my “Islamic upbringing and exposure Islamic culture” to  that makes me not want to do things he considers completely normal, like travel in a car with a man I have known for two weeks, back to his home in a neighborhood I don’t know at night… what?!!   (I’m not even sure what he means by this statment as he only knows tidbits about my family life and background…. but seriously ) ….. NO, that is just FREAKING COMMON SENSE!!!!!

But somehow he got the memo twisted that this is something American women do.  Disillusioning him of this stereotype was my duty… ha ha… but if this comes up other settings it’s gonna be a long next few years.

And that’s all I have, a few years before my options go from slim to none,  a few years before I am fully baptized into the church of spinsterhood.  Or so some would have me thinking.

I met an interesting man today.  I won’t lie, he is sexy as hell! (ha ha… yes had to curse on this one…)… don’t want to give too much identifying info, but he is an athlete, is 12 years older than I am, but looks my age is educated, speaks at least 3 languages fluently including English,  (and did I mention that he is sexy as hell?!) confident, approachable, and the list goes on and on.  He told me that I’m not an old maid yet. He also concurred with my philosophy of living my life and seeing where it takes me.

Then again, he is a 40 something sexy as hell professional athlete.  (He was also eating a salad while I had just finished savoring a New York Style Cheesecake…oy vay!)

This is not him, but it was a similar effect, he made me want to say God bless America! …. ha ha… and no, he is not American…

Then again, maybe I still got it.  Although the cat calls and sexual harassment is very little here (mainly because men are afraid they will be sent back to their country of origin… for even thinking naughty thoughts…ha ha.. Thank  you, Emirati government!…if only this was a policy that could be instated elsewhere)

I may not look like Rihanna but I can pull of the sexy, modest heffa look too…ha ha….

It happens.  I have surprisingly gotten my share since coming here.  So whatever.  I guess even here, black don’t crack… ha ha….

But we will see, wanting to bed, is a lot different from wanting to wed. And as an American Woman it’s something I have to look out for.  Everyone thinks we are all super sexually free!  (um NO!)….Too many people think that booty calls are what we live for (wtf?!?)   I wonder if the guys I meet become disillusioned once they discover pretty quickly that I am not at all like this? I guess I give off the type you marry not the type you have fund with vibe.  (ha…. ha?!?)

At any rate, if anyone has any tips for how to tell if this is a legit person vs. a wannabe player who is trying to make a booty call, please let me know!

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