On Getting what I want but wanting what Can’t get just yet


It’s been a while dear reader, Gazelle has been living life and trying to figure it out. Since my last personal post in February I went to the States for spring break, had a really restful time in San Francisco, CA.


Well, I don’t know how restful it was because although I basically slept and ate while doing little actual work, my mind was turning, thinking replaying and approximating. It will soon be time for me to move on from where I am now.

The realization has not come suddenly, but I have indeed received a myriad of clues from those around me and from within myself: I am starting to get restless.


As I tell women when they ask me about the dating scene here in the UAE, when I decided to come here, I knew that that was a part of my life that was going on hold.. ha ha…

So yeah I wanted to work here and was fine with what I gave up, at first….

It’s so strange to be so grateful and happy with a decision, to know it was the absolute right oen to make, but at the same time be ready to move past this happy experience, one that I have benefitted from greatly and go on to…. What exactly?


America, I don’t know.


I have major decisions to make in the next few months and am hoping for nothing short of a miracle if I hope/expect for things to work out the way I ideally would like them tooo… haha…

This is basically what I am trying to figure out

Not much has changed. Chatting with a friend from my last job, where we spent the day talking about the jobs we were applying for and how we were ready to move on from our current positions did make things very de ja vu-ish. Le sigh.


I know I sound cryptic as hell but here’s the skinny:


I can’t regret coming  because my being here caused a certain experience to happen and me to realize something very important: that I want to go home. No, I don’t hate it here. But I have realized that there are more things pulling me state-side than are keeping me grounded here.


So I can never regret the experience, but I still am eager to move on to the next one. Ya’ll can read between the lines on that one. It’s still too early to tell which way the wind will blow; Lord knows, have no idea how all the pieces will fit together. But Al7amdullilah I have faith that they will.

Right now, as in right now???

So if you happen to have job leads for someone with Arabic language, program management in an academic setting or qualitative research skills in either the DC Metro or San Francisco Bay area… hit me up! Pleaaaaaaaaaase!




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