I realize that as woman, or maybe a person I am continually trying to make peace. It’s this proclivity to let bygones be bygones that mired me in unnecessary stress.
No need for total details, I guess, but needless to say I no longer feel bad for supposedly hurting someone’s feelings. Why do so many men feel that it’s their right to have the woman they want when they want?
I was contrite, and tried to assuage male egos, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I did nothing wrong. Man meet’s woman. Man wants woman. Woman is not sure she wants man. Woman is clear about needing more time. Man does not respect this. Woman is fed up with feeling rushed so she tells man (very nicely) there is the door, you can see your way out (because if you want something within a certain time-frame, and I am not sure I want those same things, and am not ready to make a snap-judgement about it, why not save us both the time and trouble?)… but yeah, Man behaves like man-child.
or take this scenario
Man meets woman. Man wants woman. Woman is very clear from the get-go that she does not want man as anything other than maybe a friend. Man pretends to be ok with these boundaries. Man continually crosses these boundaries. Woman gets mad, but tells man firmly, “Please don’t do x, y or z, I don’t like and I don’t want it.” Man gets offended.
or this one
Man reaches out to woman he as known for many years. Woman is very clear about boundaries and not wanting Man to get the wrong idea. Man continues to push, even though he claims woman would be the perfect match once he rids her of some her backwards/incorrect ideas (which also happen to be central to who she is as a person as they form the premise for her morale compass and worldview!). Again, woman lets man know that, No, it’s not like that, and it will never be like that. Man continues to push boundaries. Woman breaks down and practically tells man off. Man gets offended. …. but wait, she had been telling you No, No and no.
In any number of these situations (yes, situations plural, this has happened to me more than once, more than twice this year alone 😦 I have been made to feel at-fault. But actually, Gazelle has absolved herself of all these “sins.”
I am done apologizing. Eff that. and frankly, Eff them!